“The mountains outside of Bison’s place were literally calling, which is romantic on a poster but pretty aggravating in person.”
 “At flamingo’s there isn’t actually any bedroom or bathroom…or shelter of any kind.  I got so sunburned I look like a deep friend empanada.”
 “Lemur’s hut is extremely isolated in the tamarind trees.  There are plastic bags for mosquito netting, and a hole in the wall for the bathroom.  Not in the floor.  In the wall.”
 “She didn’t eat me.  Five stars.”
 “Pelican’s place is a pelicatessan of sweet waves."
 “I was forced to go to Rhino’s rehab.  You sleep on raw hide, eat dry grass, and swim the moat for 3 hours every day.”
 “Sloth’s place is a napping harem.  Inside there are a hundred cots lined with pillows, ear plugs, and bottles of codeine.”
 “I thought this was a sperm whale, not a humpback whale, and definitely not a sperm bank!  Gosh, I got so pregnant.”
 “Frigid mountain water trickles through a crack in the rocks, and the bed is a slab of ancient stone.  Llama’s place was so authentic!”
 “Porcelain bathtubs, silken sheets, and windows made of pure crystal.  Luna’s place was a fairy tale.”
 “Marmot’s longhouse sweatlodge flipped my world upside-down.”
 “The menu at Panda’s is a little sparse - bamboo three meals a day.”
 “Where’s the bathroom?  Are you supposed to poop in the straw?”
 “Our kids adored the corkscrew slide that leads to the ice cream float bar.  It’s, like, the third happiest place on earth.”
 “The beds are made out of blubber and the floors are heated by electrically converted seal barks.”
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